07.09.07, A FATEFUL FRIDAY- Part V, Emergency Room... Time 4.05pm- 7pm

I saw light after light and I was still shivering... I was pushed into a room; at there I saw a female doctor and a few of her assistants. I was calm (a bit scare actually) and started to feel the pain of my left foot. From the stretcher, I was carried by them (Tan & co. + the medical assistants) onto a bed. My right thumb was then clamped by a sensor, which connected to the pulse sensing machine (don’t know what to call it), then I heard my heartbeat. As I can remember now, I think the number indicated by the machine was around sixty something (I was calm but arrgh...). The doctor then asked me the questions that Tan had asked previously at the petrol station and I gave her not much, not less too... Then I was given a shot in the right arm, she said it was for relieving my pain (but later I still felt the excruciating pain, even more than ever, so the shot was “extra”). Then she had her assistant undone the bandage on my left foot, while she put some antiseptics over my wounds- the hands, knees and arms.

Then Tan was there, again assuring me I would be ok and he would contact my family. He then said he would be leaving, I will be taken care of by the hospital. (I really thanked him very much, although he said it was his duty. Later he called my mom and chatted a lot, and then I knew he was TARC graduate and been volunteering for emergency services). So he left with his co., leaving me alone with not much to expect but very much in pain, the assistant then washed my wounded foot and my mind had started to get dizzy (maybe I was all exhausted, it was a long day but now only 4 something? Oh my God...) although I was still very much awake. Just a short while of being given the “extra” shot, the doctor came by me and gave me another, this time on the left arm; she said it was for disinfecting. Then I was left unattended for quite a while (I thought so because time was almost stood still for me after I picked myself up in the middle of the road), though I could see the nurses and assistants, attending to other patients in the other room (the door wasn’t closed).

I was a bit blur, seeing the clock on the wall, it was 4.15pm. I caught myself thinking:”If have not been like this, I was already at home”. Then my mind started to wander, going from what would happen after this to what would happen to my studies (Was I going to extend my studies because this and the week was the 9th week into the Semester I, I had not started my final year project yet and so many other things left uncertain about my academic). After about 15 minutes or so, lying there, the sensor was disconnected from me. Somebody else was sent into the emergency room. I didn’t dare to have a look although his bed was just below mine (perhaps I didn’t have the strength to even lift my head- though it was with an empty mind). I thought the sensor was connected to his/her hand, and then I heard the heartbeat of his/her. It was scary, his/her heartbeat was not regular, sometimes the machine sounded heartbeat but sometimes it just went continuous (meaning no heartbeat?). The doctor and his assistants were busy in front of me, I thought they were attending the patient (I saw them but didn’t see that patient). Then I saw the doctor with don’t- know- what- to- call device, we used to see it on the television when somebody have no heartbeat, the doctor would get the device and shocked the patient by the counts of 1, 2, 3... I don’t know what it is called, but what? Using that device meant that the patient is nearly... I was like:” how come?”.

Then a medical assistant pushed me out of the area. Along the way, I asked him does he know how my situation was, but to no avail because I thought he also didn’t know much. I been through quite a number of doors, and then finally came to a room. I asked what it was about, and then knew that I was going to be X- Rayed. Then a nurse pushed me into the X- Ray room, she asked why I was shivering so much, I said I was cold and she examined my clothes and said to another nurse:” Basah la tu”. I said I had been through rains. Then she asked what had happened to my foot, I said I crashed my bike. She proceeded to take my X- Rays. She took it two times, may be because of the first angle, was not what she wanted (I hate X- Ray; I think it kills healthy human cells too). Then I was passed to an Indian medical personnel, he pushed me until the sitting area (where patients wait for doctor), and stopped. There weren’t many patients; I was lying there for about 10 minutes. I saw the television above me, Prime Minister was giving a speech, and I remembered it was about the budget. I thought on that Fateful Friday, the budget was out. Then the Indian guy jokingly said to his colleague:”Tak de naik gaji kali ni?”. They chatted quite a while, but I didn’t have the mood to hear further what was talked by them.

After that ,I guessed I went the same way back as I went to the X- ray room, then I finally came back into the emergency room. Not exactly where I was situated before, I was left at the side of hallway into the emergency partition, I thought. There again, I still heard the sound of the pulse machine, I guessed it was the same person. The continuous beeping sound was longer than ever, and then I thought of one phrase in Chinese that I used to read it before in a religious book, it goes like this: “心无一物， 何处惹尘埃？”, which translate into “If heart doesn’t have a thing, how will it collect dust?”. I really like that verse very much, but didn’t know how I suddenly had it crossed my mind at that time. I held onto that verse, to feel calm, and I became calmer actually, my shivering was reduced quite significantly (though my wet clothes still made me cold). Then it was over for that person, I didn’t know what happened, but I just know it was over because the machine didn’t sound anymore (no heartbeat sound, no continuous beeping neither).

I got lost in the sense of time, but later I was pushed into a more crowded place. There were many patients I think, many doctors too. I was left in the middle of the hallway, I heard a lot of noise, people were walking by me, talking and some were looking on me, but I didn’t have a clear picture of them as I weren’t wearing my spec. Suddenly two doctors (Mr. Theva is one of them, the other I thought was a trainee doctor) came by my sides. Mr. Theva called my name, and asked me questions (Know what, they were almost the same questions as before). The trainee doctor pulled out my X- Rays and then discussed with Mr. Theva. I didn’t catch what their conversations were, but I asked how my foot’s condition was. Mr. Theva said to me that I had a deep cut over my left foot and fractured some parts of it too. I was unbelievable, fractured my foot too? (I guessed it was because I fell left side wise, as my bike swayed to the right. Later I found out that my left foot stand of my bike was deflected upward, my clutch was broken into two at the end. So I just can imagine how my foot was broken as the stand and the clutch were made from solid STEEL, my foot? It is Calcium, but does that proved that Calcium is much stronger than steel?) So it didn’t seem to be that simple as I thought it was, but I was then still held on to that Holy Verse.

After sometimes with the docs, I was pushed into an ordinary hospital bedroom. I was given a slot at the end of the room, the second partition of the room. The nurse gave me the hospital clothes, told me to change it (FINALLY, I could change my clothes). Beside my bed, there was also a Chinese guy; he seemed more serious as his leg and arm were totally hanged up. His face was quite badly injured as I could see wounds on his face. I changed my clothes (it was hard, my right arm was stiff, couldn’t move much as it was DAMN hurt). But I couldn’t change my jeans, it was cut on the left side by Tan and my left foot was still bandaged, couldn’t even stand up. So I didn’t bother changing it as it was warmer after changing the clothes. Then I started to feel the urge to piss very much, may be it was because of rainy day or I was drinking too much water when I had my lunch (Later realized I only drank some cereal drink as my lunch).

Sitting at my bed, I was that DAMN in need to piss, then came a trainee doc (not earlier one). He opened my bandage (I guessed it was his homework or something) then simply closed it up. Again he asked me questions of the day, but in more hard tone. After that, I told him I need to go to the toilet (yeah, I could see one, just 5m from my bed). He said:”just go ahead”. I was thinking:” I am having an injured leg, how am I supposed to go without any aid?”. Not to offend him (because I already felt his unfriendliness), I said I couldn’t move much as the pain was too much for me. Then he said:”Can what, it’s near only”. Then he waited me at my bedside, looking at me with a much to my surprise’s face. He expected me to get down and go to the toilet. So, much to my unwillingness, I tried. I put my right foot on the ground, my left foot just couldn’t touch the floor at all (it was bandaged, I didn’t know if it was still bleeding but I DAMN knew it was hurting like hell). I just couldn’t put my left foot down, so I tried to move with only my right foot. SHIT, how could I move to the toilet in this situation? The toilet’s distance suddenly went from 5m to the unreachable.

I just didn’t expect a doctor, in the worst case scenario, turned out to be a person like him. I moved like, 50cm from my bed and I just couldn’t do it anymore. He didn’t even bother to lend me a hand, he just stood there and observed as I did the biggest effort in my life to walk a 50cm distance. I gave up, saying that I couldn’t move, and just sat back on my bed. Then he said:”Cannot move ah? How come? You only injured your left foot”. He said it with a tone, the tone that made me just wanted to forget whatever the F*** he said. Later, he said if I could use a urinal, I said it was ok. Then he left. I laid back, still in need to piss off course (need to piss, off course); I started to wonder when my parents or someone who know me would come. After like 10 minutes, a nurse came to give me the urinal. I thought it was great; I finally could piss. Then, when I was standing up, DAMN my left foot hurt like HELL, couldn’t really stand for long (I thought I just really couldn’t stand that long until I finished my business). I held the urinal; DAMN again I wasn’t able to piss in this situation (Foot hurting, standing with one leg, still need to hold the urinal, need to hold my pants some more). Then I was really frustrated: “Hell now I can’t even piss”. Then I tried every configuration possible just to please my injured foot while I could have a piss. But it was my DAMN mind, I thought, to cause me unable to piss. Because some patients piss while lying down (due to their injuries), but I just couldn’t piss even I wanted to in that way. After trying for 20 minutes, I finally came to piss, standing up. The pain was like hell in a hell as I was needed to stand with one leg to do a long business (maybe I drank too much water, or maybe is the weather). After that very much relieving piss, I finally could just lie down and have a rest comfortably.

I saw the sky through the window in front of me; it was moderately bright but cloudy, it was still raining. Then my mom came, with my aunty, I was so relieved to see them...

07.09.07, A FATEFUL FRIDAY- Part IV, Along The Way... Time: 3.50pm- 4.05pm

Even with the straps all over me, a blanket on top of me, I was still shivering, more than ever (20HZ, I think...). Tan (I salute him to be a Mr., unless he has other recognition), the volunteer, began to check my pulse, blood pressure and then explained to me that we were on the way to Seberang Jaya Hospital. I agreed and asked whether my foot injury was serious or not (God, I needed a lot of affirmations at that time), he said it was not that bad (Urm… He didn’t answer my question in that way though). He then asked why I was shivering like hell (in a polite way, of course). Maybe he thought it was more than 20HZ (Haha...). I said I had been through rains, dried and being wet again an hour ago, so I could not control myself (Really, it was like all my motor- neurons going haywire, causing my muscle to relax and contract unpredictably, not even the central nervous system (my brain + my weakened mind power) is able to contain it). He, being a very nice person and probably my lifesaver, cover me with another blanket and held my hands (Urm, wait a minute...). Come to think of it now, it was ok for me because in that kind of situation, anybody would need a helping hand.

He then took my particulars, then asked for my family’s contact number and said he would call them after I reached the hospital. I said “Thanks a lot” and after a while of short conversation, he again questioned me with the earlier inquiries, luckily again my mind was still clear to be able to field them with same answers as I had before.

Being in an ambulance (although not a white one) had been a first experience for me on that Friday. It was noisy in such a way that everybody knows what to do when hearing one, so that people can lend a way to other people that might have a lot of “time” to catch. I was inside it, secured by the stretcher that turned out to be locked by the base of the ambulance. Facing upward, nothing much to see though. There were windows, through them were a dark sky and some flyovers, were all that I could have see along the way.

FINALLY, the siren stopped. I guessed that I was inside the hospital area, as the ambulance slowly came to a halt. Mr. Tan and fellows got off the ambulance, opened the doors, and I could see in front of me, was the door to the emergency room of the Seberang Jaya Hospital (I knew it because I had been there prior to that Fateful Friday). Mr. Tan ensured me again that all would be ok (I really wanted that way but I know it would not be that easy) and his colleagues started to do their jobs. The locks were left undone, and I was being stretched out of the ambulance. It was a rough bump onto the floor too (What else could I ask for, better to be bumped while on a stretcher than being bumped inside a coffin. At least now I can have a say for being bumped while on a stretcher. Inside a coffin, nothing else matters...).

Getting some smells of disinfectant, typically synonymous with hospital, there I went, inside the emergency room...

07.09.07, A FATEFUL FRIDAY- Part III, At The Petrol Station. Time: 3.25pm- 3.50pm

I straight away picked myself up (didn’t even realize I was standing up by myself), hopping (a little like walking limply, dragging one leg with another or... whatever) to pick up my shoe about 5m away. The road was empty but usually it’s not (Thank God, I was so lucky on my Fateful Day) and it was silent too, I couldn’t hear a noise, it was hard to describe but it was almost like a scene from The Matrix (Revolution, Reloaded or whatever...). After picking up the shoe, I really didn’t know where to go, I saw my bike over the opposite lane in front of the PETRONAS, naturally I was heading that way...

The engine was running though (the clutch was engaged as my bike leaned left on the road), then I saw a couple of Royal Malaysian Air Force (RMAF) personnel. They drove a white Proton Wira, one was asking if I was ok, then the other picked up my bike. Then I thought one of the RMAF guys asked me what happened, my answer was: “That shit van la, coming so fast from side...”. I wasn’t able to finish the whole sentence, didn’t know why. Suddenly I felt that:” Shit, my leg hurts”. They asked me to go into the petrol station to wait for medical personnel to come, asked if I could walk there, I said it was ok, then just dragged myself into the station.

I came to the counter where bikers fill in their tanks. I was given a chair, and there I sat. The counter was wet, and I could see my left foot was oozing out blood (though I didn’t know how bad it had been), painting red on the floor of the counter. My jacket and my jeans (can’t even imagine not wearing a jean) were torn, and lied beneath them were my wounds, I just could see two places on my arm wounded, my palm, and my left knee was bleeding, besides my left foot, where it hurts the most. There were quite a number of guys at there, though the RMAF guys left. Then the question started to came in, it was the same question, and it was the same answer too. Then I remembered a Chinese man at there, he said: “You need to call your family, what is their number? The ambulance is coming...”. Then he handed to me his mobile, I called home, my brother answered the call, I told him I got an accident, told him to tell my mom. My mom wasn’t there, so I couldn’t talk to her. I hung up. Then the Chinese man said again: “Have you called your family?”. Then I said: “I need to call my dad”. But I couldn’t reach him, so I just gave him back the mobile. Then he asked me the question of the day again. Answer was the same again.

After about 5 minutes, I was still sitting there; the floor below me was messy with my blood. I was cold and all wet, therefore I shivered a lot. My heart was pounding hard and I started to feel cold sweat all over my body. Then I started to wonder when the ambulance would come, because as long as I was sitting there, the people didn’t dare to come close and give a help. I understood their situation; they might not know this kind of things, but at least, I expected someone to come and stop my foot from bleeding, the response was negative. I prayed to God:”Please help me through this, whatever it might be...”

Suddenly, I heard siren. I thought like:”It must be ambulance”. The Chinese man also said in chinese:”Nah, lai liao, qia (car) lai liao”. I was expecting so much as I really wanted to just get through it as I already started the beginning (fall from the bike), it must have an end (in hospital bed? I wasn’t sure that time because I never had it before). Then I saw a red vehicle (with emergency light and siren) passed by (I mean just passing by, it DIDN’T come in) the petrol station. Then some guys at the station said: “Bukan kut, Bomba tu” (or whatever they said it was). Soon after, the siren faded. HUH? I was like falling from the highest elevation on Earth, besides being hurt, hopelessness was slowly creeping in to eat me. But what could I do? I had to wait for the ambulance to come (then started to think that the ambulance might come from Seberang Jaya Hospital, think that it might spend some time reaching here). It might take 15 minutes or so for the ambulance to get here if it came from Seberang Jaya. Thinking, thinking and thinking... Hopelessness started to digest me. Then a guy, I thought he was working in the station, came in front of me, and started to put tissues to cover my foot (where it bled). Although he had just simply put it, like one tissue after another on top of the wound, I really thanked him for his helpfulness, he was like a Doom’s Day Saviour.

Soon, it was the familiar siren again, although it sounded faintly, but it was getting louder. Then I saw the red van (the one that earlier passed- by) came into the petrol station. At first, I never gave much thought to it, I didn’t know why; maybe I didn’t have the energy to think anymore. Suddenly, helpers came out of the van (they were there to save me, hurray... ). I didn’t get the excited emotion actually, just for the sake of this writing. Let me introduce the red van, it was a voluntary “Bomba dan Penyelamat” vehicle, coming from Raja Uda branch. I guessed it right initially, it was coming for me. The reason behind the blunder was that they thought the accident (mine) and therefore the victim (me) were happened to be on the roadside after the accident, so they didn’t come into the petrol station, they were looking for me along the roadside instead. For me, as long as they came before I bleed myself to death; it was already my answered prayer (Thank God).

There were 4 people coming out of the van if not mistaken, one was the driver, one was the emergency volunteer (he knew how to first aid) and the others were helpers, I thought... The first aid guy, known to me as Michael Tan, attended to my leg. He cut opened the left side of my jeans, started nursing my left knee. Then started to ask me a lot of questions, one eventually came out as the MOST asked question of the Day (a Fateful one, for sure). He asked:”Do you know what happened?”, “Where you came from before the accident?”, “Where were you heading to?”, “How did it happen?”, “Do you feel headaches?”, “Did you faint?”, “Have you called your family” and some of others. I thought he just wanted to make sure that I didn’t bang my head and I didn’t have a concussion. Then, I saw him washing my wounds and bandaged my foot. It was fast (a professional’s work), but I felt that my foot was a bit numb, not sure what had caused it, guessed it was the cold weather, a cold and shivering me (I had been shivered since sitting down the chair, the shiver was so bad, it was like a 10 HZ frequency- 10 shivers/ second), the pain subdued. The helpers brought down a stretcher, asked if I could get up from the chair onto the stretcher, I got up and lied on it. To their surprise, the stretcher didn’t fit me though, it was of a standard size, I think(not sure which standard are refered, or it’s just me being...), but I got strapped up anyway and being carried into the vehicle.

The vehicle was moving and the siren started again, I thought I was on the way (to put an end to that Fateful Day), but absolutely not sure what for were waiting me at the end of the day...

07.09.07, A FATEFUL FRIDAY- Part II, It Happened... Time: 1.45pm- 3.25pm

The time was 1.45pm and it was raining... I pulled aside into a Shell petrol station, to get a shelter from the rain (before that, I usually wouldn’t bother, just straight heading to home even when it was raining). There were some motorists too, for the same reason as me, stuck inside the petrol station. As I could remember, there was a Malay couple, a Pakcik and an Indian man, together with me, waiting for the rain to stop. I wasn’t all wet though, sitting there, wondering when the rain would stop. Although waiting helplessly, I had not much thought that day, an unusually me. Connected my earphone, I was listening to some songs from my phone (I usually done this while riding home). Seeing people came in and out of the station, to fill their vehicle. It was half an hour past, the Indian man had left with his raincoat on, it was still raining heavily. Soon after that, the Pakcik left too, the rain was seemed to cease. But as I was preparing to leave, the rain suddenly became heavier again, so seemingly that I was unable to get home any sooner. 15 more minutes had passed, it was THE time to leave (still raining though, but lightly), as the Malay couple went out of the station, I ensued.


It was about 2.30pm, I guessed, as I was about to enter the Jawi Toll Plaza. Typically, I took mostly 1 hour 5 minutes to reach home, so at that time of the day, eventually I would be at home about 3.35pm (which I didn’t, on THAT day). As usual, I was heading north on the PLUS highway, hearing some songs on the phone (forgot what the songs were). Suddenly I was thinking like: “Shit, the rain is coming again, heavier that ever”. Not that I never before going home in this kind of situation, so I didn’t give much thought about it, just continued my journey. After 15 minutes, I was totally wet. I didn’t mind either, as I would always think:”I will take a nice bath anyway after reaching home”. So I continued and nothing much along the way before I exited the PLUS highway (the songs were still playing...).

The time, I estimated was about 3.20pm as I reached the Bagan Ajam traffic lights. It rained also in the Bagan Ajam area, although it had stopped before I arrived there. I was wet, a bit shaky as the air was cold. Suddenly, my songs weren’t playing. Never before my phone was like that, USUALLY the songs would be played until I reached home. As I was about to leave the junction, I felt some kind weird sensation below my nose, some kind of electrical sensation. I thought: “Damn, my phone must have gone functionless after soaking by the rainwater. The electrical sensation must be some kind of short circuit from my phone (I was TOTALLY wet)”. So, I pulled over by a bus stop to check my phone, it was alright, still functioning, nothing was wrong although it was a bit wet. But the program that played the songs stopped, didn’t know why it STOPPED.

Slipped the phone inside my pocket, I continued my way home. The time was 3.25pm, about 10 more minutes I would be home for sure. That Fateful Friday of 07.09.07, come to think of it, had JUST too much of the unusual things that happened. First, it was coincidentally bumped into my friend (I really had only bumped into him on THAT day when I was going home, roughly put it, it was like a 1/50 chance). Second, I went out by the 2nd side entrance. Third, it was taking a road by mistake that leaded me into a housing estate which I thought would have leaded me faster to the PLUS highway. Fourth was the traffic light that never turned GREEN. Fifth, I pulled over to seek a shelter- which I wouldn’t normally do even it was raining cats and dogs. Sixth, it was my phone that went dead playing the songs.

The seventh “unexplained” was about to happen. AGAIN, usually I would stop by the twin petrol stations (slightly located opposite each other along the road I would have passed enroute to my home) of CALTEX and PETRONAS. I mean I would usually stop by CALTEX (3/4 chance) (never before at PETRONAS), to fill the pressure for my tyres (I learned a lesson before, never to fill the tyres and immediately take a long journey as it would increase chances of the tyres bursting). BUT that day, as I approaching CALTEX, I thought it was ok just to go home straight and fill the tyres tomorrow or so. SO I didn’t stop and it happened on that Fateful Friday…

A van (a silver van indeed, and sitting inside the van was the MOST stupid driver the Earth ever had!) was about to come out from the exit of the CALTEX petrol station. I saw it at about 30m to the exit and thought it would eventually come out, so I shifted more to the middle of the road and IN CASE it came out suddenly, it would have sufficient space to drive along the side of the road and I would be able to have some space in the middle and I would not have crash into it. I also thought of in case it came out of a sudden and was driving slowly along the side of the road (normally a not insane driver would do), it was better for me to overtake it by riding on the middle section of the road. WHO KNEW, it really came out and being the Stupidest Driver on Earth, the BASTARD (indeed a Stupid BASTARD) didn’t seem to like it very much driving slowly along the side of the road, IT just shifted ITS van so fast onto the middle of the road! What the hell!

There I was, on that DAMN Fateful Friday, on the middle of the road. In front of me, about 1 m was the rear portion of the van, I was at about 80 km/h (as I thought to overtake the BASTARD) and I hit hard on the rear brake (Drum brake), I knew it couldn’t stop much in a DAMN situation like that, I hit hard too on the front wheel brake, a Disc brake. The road was wet, and there I was, lost control of the handlebar as my front wheel was locked up and skidded, my bike flung about 10 m to the opposite side of the road in front of me as I was sliding on the MIDDLE of the road!

Recently I read an article about scientists that were trying to determine whether the length of time for a person in any case of emergency, would seem to be longer than the reality passing time. I forgot how they actually did the experiment but the conclusion from them were the reality passing time was the same, be it in an emergency or not but the person in the state of emergency felt that the time of emergency was longer than the time that they thought they had endured in the absence of the emergency situation. I think the person who endured the longer period in the experiment was right to say that the time period would seem longer in an emergency.

 AS I was sliding on the middle of the road (considered lucky to slide instead of just hit the ground and stopped. The rainy day was a perfect day for sliding too and if given a sunny day, sliding would not be that much of a simple situation), with my legs at behind and head forefront (helmet still attached), the period was like a 10 seconds of length, in my thought. Roughly estimated from the distant I had slide, it should only take mostly 3 seconds in reality for me to come to a stop. But I had endured it about 3 times the reality time in my mind! The world was upside down during the 10 seconds inside my mind (3 seconds in reality) as I could see the mosque beside the road, the sky, then the surface of the road and then the petrol station, all blended up in a messy combination. Although the period was quite of a length (10 seconds), I just couldn’t think of anything, it was like... BLANK!

FINALLY, I came to a stop...

07.09.07, A FATEFUL FRIDAY- Part I, Not My Usual Self... Time: 8.05 am- 1.45pm

It was a day that began with me waking up at 8.05 am, a typical time to wake up whenever I have a class at 9 am. The day actually had a test for me at 9 am, a 2nd test for the course of Refrigeration and Air Conditioning. Everything was like usual; I had my breakfast and then off to the school for the test. After finishing the test and had some classes that followed the timetable, I took my lunch and found myself ready to ride home. The time was around 1.30pm.

USUALLY I wouldn’t have go home at the afternoon, maybe due to the hot sun but I did quite often went home by bike on weekends, USUALLY at a later noon, around 4 or 5 pm. BUT that day somehow, I decided to go home at 1.30pm. The sky was getting dark actually, and as I was about to leave, I coincidentally bumped into one of my friends who was staying opposite me. I didn’t used to see him when I was about to go home on weekends unless I was going to hitch a ride from him. BUT I saw him that day, he said to me it was better for me to call home to check whether the town area was already raining and told me to postpone my ride home if it was raining (or maybe later could hitch a ride from him as he actually went home on that day). SOMEHOW I didn’t (BUT I thought to do so…), I said to him that probably wouldn’t be raining soon although the sky was dark. As I was about to leave after saying those words, an uneasy feeling struck me but I didn’t care anyway, proceeded to take my bike.

AS I always would have used the main entrance to exit my campus, SOMEHOW that day I used the 2nd side entrance. The 2nd side entrance was constructed not long ago (about 1 months or so prior to that Fateful Friday, as I could remember), to facilitate people coming into the campus from the other side of the area. It is also a much shorter distance to get out of my campus. I was there, waiting for the lights to go green. I could have turn left, the usual way to follow if I were to head onto the PLUS highway. OR I could have gone straight, which I never ever done it before (before 07.09.07). As I wait for the lights, I was thinking that going straight might probably leaded me out faster that turning left. The lights went green, and I went STRAIGHT, until a point that I thought, “Shit…, there is no way out here(or maybe I didn’t know how to get out of there), it is a housing estate that only has the road that I took to come in to go out…”. So, I made a turn out of the housing estate and found myself waiting again for the lights. Opposite me was my campus, the sky was getting darker, seemed to be raining anytime. I thought of going back into campus and just forget about getting home that weekend. The light went green BUT I turned RIGHT (which was WRONG), on the way to the PLUS highway.

After a long straight road, I came to a traffic light. Turning left would have lead me to the main entrance of my campus, turning right would be the right way as I was heading to the PLUS highway. There came the TRICK (I don’t know what to call it, makes me shivered every time thinking of it). I was waiting for the green light. After I thought the green light was supposed to light on my side, it didn’t. Some cars moved from the adjacent lane. Then I waited (just me on my lane). The second time the green light was supposed to be on my side, it didn’t light up again. That time, not even one vehicle was at the traffic light, small droplets of rain seemed to be falling. The third time around, though, was still not my turn. BUT I took a RIGHT (turned out later to be WRONG) turn, as there was not even one vehicle along the long straight road. I wondered if the green light was on or not after I left the junction, but as long as I had waited at there, I was only seeing RED. (Recently heard a theory from my Civil Engineering friend, saying that at the junction, underneath the white stripe where we used to stop while waiting, there lays a magnet to control the traffic light. But as we went along discussing it, we still could not conclude that some roads in PG (especially the road in front of the main entrance of my campus) are having this kind of system. Some KL roads may be having it. The magnet, if it cannot detect there is a vehicle above it, will control the traffic light to allow other lanes’ vehicles to flow). Was the magnet unable to detect my bike? I was over the line? Not sure about that, not even sure if the system existing underneath.

It's nearly coming to an end...

Here I am, standing in between studying life and working life. Sometimes it makes me to have a heavy heart to leave studying life, meaning there may be an end to it. But I think now my mind has already been saturated with all the theories, saturated until a point that I cannot even think with it. Theories some are from the high school days and some from current study but not even one from my primary school(Wondered have I been studying in the primary school, hehe…) but I think I had continued my primary school education…

Thinking way back to my high school days, studying was fun. I meant exploring the theories, the facts that were available at that time. Although I disliked the system that ran the high school, especially hated all the homework and the rules, simply just because I am lazy (or not?). I liked to know all the theories and facts just for my personal exploration, may be my mind needed some foods. But given me homework to do; the teachers would have expected mostly that they would not get the work done from me. Exams were fun as I could measure how my capabilities were at exploring the knowledge and just get a ranking as high as possible so that I would be able to have some “pride”.

Attendance in the high school was like a dark secret for me, I remembered every time the teacher would say to my parents who took my report card: “The results are ok, he got an A (B, C…) on which and which subject… Then, wow, your son even got a record for being the lowest attendee in the class… His attendance is a 90/200, or something like that”. Being a good parent of mine, my parents were speechless as the teacher would continue his/her advice. Come to think of it now, I feel a bit ashamed. I admit that my attendance was bad; I think it all started in Form 2, then went worst in Form 3, equally worse in Form 4 and 5, then just simply “nasty” in Pre- U class. Actually it had started in Primary 4, that time I was like obsessing with video games, then would always having a stomach “aches” at 7am, the time when I was supposedly going to school.

NOW I just want to say a sincere Thank You to my high school teachers(in case they found this writing, but I really want them to see this!) that were really wanted to help me, they always said that they saw me having the potentials to study, just that I had to change my attitude. Although many of them threatened to kick me out of high school for being the “Student of the Year- Absentee” for like, 3 years in a row, they never did it (Yeah!). If not, at least now I will not be able to continue studying until today… Thank you Mr. Teh (chemistry teacher), Mr. Tan (Chinese language teacher) and many more who I can’t remember their names (my saturated mind).

Coming back to a more up to date situation, I just don’t know how to describe the education at tertiary level in this country. I don’t know whether other tertiary education institutions here are using the same ways to teach its students or not. It's just seems like not being the way that I wanted and surprisingly not even what I have expected. Practically wise, I am that "noob", simply to say with a word. But I continued…

After 4 years, after so many courses, after so many exams, after so many results, I have gained only recognition for spending 4 years at a place that offers so many courses, conducting so many exams and producing so many results. Sometimes it really does not make any sense, fighting hard to get into a place where you can relax? But anyway, I continued…

But life is not permitting us to have a choice, not even in a world where there lie many opportunities. I don’t know what I would become after this, but all I can say for now is that I want to try my best, just not to be like what I used to be before, when I have not fully done what I could have done.

Hopefully too, some times in the future, I will be able to be back in the wonderful life of studying, again will be able to continue what I will be letting off in the near future.





 

Just for fun!!!

Blogging, often heard of it nowadays but I never really gave much thoughts about creating one.

BUT now I am, blogging actually. The feeling is not really hard to describe, it is like writing an essay (I used to love doing it during my high school years). The feelings were great as I would have someone (teachers, of course) to read it and then gave some comments. Although I disliked it as homework, writing an essay was a really nice thing to do if someone was going to read it. But at tertiary level, there is not much opportunity to write and get read. Over the past 4 years, not more than 5 essays were written (can you believe that!!! But it did happen to me!!!).

Forget about writing essays. Last night, I have thought of creating a blog, thinking it is better to write on my own spot that to comment on other people. But still I will comment if anything just ignites my comment thirst. I named this spot "Observing Time..." and hopefully it will observe my time.

I just want to round up my first post now and hopefully readers will write, comment or just do anything on this blog. Blogging is fun for me, at least for now. It was even funnier (which means MORE fun) when democracy was at its height last Saturday. I hope he will be able to express his thoughts (hopefully not only in his future blogs but in a place where you actually make a difference...) and turn those into actions and make PG a better place to live.