It's nearly coming to an end...

Here I am, standing in between studying life and working life. Sometimes it makes me to have a heavy heart to leave studying life, meaning there may be an end to it. But I think now my mind has already been saturated with all the theories, saturated until a point that I cannot even think with it. Theories some are from the high school days and some from current study but not even one from my primary school(Wondered have I been studying in the primary school, hehe…) but I think I had continued my primary school education…

Thinking way back to my high school days, studying was fun. I meant exploring the theories, the facts that were available at that time. Although I disliked the system that ran the high school, especially hated all the homework and the rules, simply just because I am lazy (or not?). I liked to know all the theories and facts just for my personal exploration, may be my mind needed some foods. But given me homework to do; the teachers would have expected mostly that they would not get the work done from me. Exams were fun as I could measure how my capabilities were at exploring the knowledge and just get a ranking as high as possible so that I would be able to have some “pride”.

Attendance in the high school was like a dark secret for me, I remembered every time the teacher would say to my parents who took my report card: “The results are ok, he got an A (B, C…) on which and which subject… Then, wow, your son even got a record for being the lowest attendee in the class… His attendance is a 90/200, or something like that”. Being a good parent of mine, my parents were speechless as the teacher would continue his/her advice. Come to think of it now, I feel a bit ashamed. I admit that my attendance was bad; I think it all started in Form 2, then went worst in Form 3, equally worse in Form 4 and 5, then just simply “nasty” in Pre- U class. Actually it had started in Primary 4, that time I was like obsessing with video games, then would always having a stomach “aches” at 7am, the time when I was supposedly going to school.

NOW I just want to say a sincere Thank You to my high school teachers(in case they found this writing, but I really want them to see this!) that were really wanted to help me, they always said that they saw me having the potentials to study, just that I had to change my attitude. Although many of them threatened to kick me out of high school for being the “Student of the Year- Absentee” for like, 3 years in a row, they never did it (Yeah!). If not, at least now I will not be able to continue studying until today… Thank you Mr. Teh (chemistry teacher), Mr. Tan (Chinese language teacher) and many more who I can’t remember their names (my saturated mind).

Coming back to a more up to date situation, I just don’t know how to describe the education at tertiary level in this country. I don’t know whether other tertiary education institutions here are using the same ways to teach its students or not. It's just seems like not being the way that I wanted and surprisingly not even what I have expected. Practically wise, I am that "noob", simply to say with a word. But I continued…

After 4 years, after so many courses, after so many exams, after so many results, I have gained only recognition for spending 4 years at a place that offers so many courses, conducting so many exams and producing so many results. Sometimes it really does not make any sense, fighting hard to get into a place where you can relax? But anyway, I continued…

But life is not permitting us to have a choice, not even in a world where there lie many opportunities. I don’t know what I would become after this, but all I can say for now is that I want to try my best, just not to be like what I used to be before, when I have not fully done what I could have done.

Hopefully too, some times in the future, I will be able to be back in the wonderful life of studying, again will be able to continue what I will be letting off in the near future.