I saw light after light and I was still shivering... I was pushed into a room; at there I saw a female doctor and a few of her assistants. I was calm (a bit scare actually) and started to feel the pain of my left foot. From the stretcher, I was carried by them (Tan & co. + the medical assistants) onto a bed. My right thumb was then clamped by a sensor, which connected to the pulse sensing machine (don’t know what to call it), then I heard my heartbeat. As I can remember now, I think the number indicated by the machine was around sixty something (I was calm but arrgh...). The doctor then asked me the questions that Tan had asked previously at the petrol station and I gave her not much, not less too... Then I was given a shot in the right arm, she said it was for relieving my pain (but later I still felt the excruciating pain, even more than ever, so the shot was “extra”). Then she had her assistant undone the bandage on my left foot, while she put some antiseptics over my wounds- the hands, knees and arms.
Then Tan was there, again assuring me I would be ok and he would contact my family. He then said he would be leaving, I will be taken care of by the hospital. (I really thanked him very much, although he said it was his duty. Later he called my mom and chatted a lot, and then I knew he was TARC graduate and been volunteering for emergency services). So he left with his co., leaving me alone with not much to expect but very much in pain, the assistant then washed my wounded foot and my mind had started to get dizzy (maybe I was all exhausted, it was a long day but now only 4 something? Oh my God...) although I was still very much awake. Just a short while of being given the “extra” shot, the doctor came by me and gave me another, this time on the left arm; she said it was for disinfecting. Then I was left unattended for quite a while (I thought so because time was almost stood still for me after I picked myself up in the middle of the road), though I could see the nurses and assistants, attending to other patients in the other room (the door wasn’t closed).
I was a bit blur, seeing the clock on the wall, it was 4.15pm. I caught myself thinking:”If have not been like this, I was already at home”. Then my mind started to wander, going from what would happen after this to what would happen to my studies (Was I going to extend my studies because this and the week was the 9th week into the Semester I, I had not started my final year project yet and so many other things left uncertain about my academic). After about 15 minutes or so, lying there, the sensor was disconnected from me. Somebody else was sent into the emergency room. I didn’t dare to have a look although his bed was just below mine (perhaps I didn’t have the strength to even lift my head- though it was with an empty mind). I thought the sensor was connected to his/her hand, and then I heard the heartbeat of his/her. It was scary, his/her heartbeat was not regular, sometimes the machine sounded heartbeat but sometimes it just went continuous (meaning no heartbeat?). The doctor and his assistants were busy in front of me, I thought they were attending the patient (I saw them but didn’t see that patient). Then I saw the doctor with don’t- know- what- to- call device, we used to see it on the television when somebody have no heartbeat, the doctor would get the device and shocked the patient by the counts of 1, 2, 3... I don’t know what it is called, but what? Using that device meant that the patient is nearly... I was like:” how come?”.
Then a medical assistant pushed me out of the area. Along the way, I asked him does he know how my situation was, but to no avail because I thought he also didn’t know much. I been through quite a number of doors, and then finally came to a room. I asked what it was about, and then knew that I was going to be X- Rayed. Then a nurse pushed me into the X- Ray room, she asked why I was shivering so much, I said I was cold and she examined my clothes and said to another nurse:” Basah la tu”. I said I had been through rains. Then she asked what had happened to my foot, I said I crashed my bike. She proceeded to take my X- Rays. She took it two times, may be because of the first angle, was not what she wanted (I hate X- Ray; I think it kills healthy human cells too). Then I was passed to an Indian medical personnel, he pushed me until the sitting area (where patients wait for doctor), and stopped. There weren’t many patients; I was lying there for about 10 minutes. I saw the television above me, Prime Minister was giving a speech, and I remembered it was about the budget. I thought on that Fateful Friday, the budget was out. Then the Indian guy jokingly said to his colleague:”Tak de naik gaji kali ni?”. They chatted quite a while, but I didn’t have the mood to hear further what was talked by them.
After that ,I guessed I went the same way back as I went to the X- ray room, then I finally came back into the emergency room. Not exactly where I was situated before, I was left at the side of hallway into the emergency partition, I thought. There again, I still heard the sound of the pulse machine, I guessed it was the same person. The continuous beeping sound was longer than ever, and then I thought of one phrase in Chinese that I used to read it before in a religious book, it goes like this: “心无一物， 何处惹尘埃？”, which translate into “If heart doesn’t have a thing, how will it collect dust?”. I really like that verse very much, but didn’t know how I suddenly had it crossed my mind at that time. I held onto that verse, to feel calm, and I became calmer actually, my shivering was reduced quite significantly (though my wet clothes still made me cold). Then it was over for that person, I didn’t know what happened, but I just know it was over because the machine didn’t sound anymore (no heartbeat sound, no continuous beeping neither).
I got lost in the sense of time, but later I was pushed into a more crowded place. There were many patients I think, many doctors too. I was left in the middle of the hallway, I heard a lot of noise, people were walking by me, talking and some were looking on me, but I didn’t have a clear picture of them as I weren’t wearing my spec. Suddenly two doctors (Mr. Theva is one of them, the other I thought was a trainee doctor) came by my sides. Mr. Theva called my name, and asked me questions (Know what, they were almost the same questions as before). The trainee doctor pulled out my X- Rays and then discussed with Mr. Theva. I didn’t catch what their conversations were, but I asked how my foot’s condition was. Mr. Theva said to me that I had a deep cut over my left foot and fractured some parts of it too. I was unbelievable, fractured my foot too? (I guessed it was because I fell left side wise, as my bike swayed to the right. Later I found out that my left foot stand of my bike was deflected upward, my clutch was broken into two at the end. So I just can imagine how my foot was broken as the stand and the clutch were made from solid STEEL, my foot? It is Calcium, but does that proved that Calcium is much stronger than steel?) So it didn’t seem to be that simple as I thought it was, but I was then still held on to that Holy Verse.
After sometimes with the docs, I was pushed into an ordinary hospital bedroom. I was given a slot at the end of the room, the second partition of the room. The nurse gave me the hospital clothes, told me to change it (FINALLY, I could change my clothes). Beside my bed, there was also a Chinese guy; he seemed more serious as his leg and arm were totally hanged up. His face was quite badly injured as I could see wounds on his face. I changed my clothes (it was hard, my right arm was stiff, couldn’t move much as it was DAMN hurt). But I couldn’t change my jeans, it was cut on the left side by Tan and my left foot was still bandaged, couldn’t even stand up. So I didn’t bother changing it as it was warmer after changing the clothes. Then I started to feel the urge to piss very much, may be it was because of rainy day or I was drinking too much water when I had my lunch (Later realized I only drank some cereal drink as my lunch).
Sitting at my bed, I was that DAMN in need to piss, then came a trainee doc (not earlier one). He opened my bandage (I guessed it was his homework or something) then simply closed it up. Again he asked me questions of the day, but in more hard tone. After that, I told him I need to go to the toilet (yeah, I could see one, just 5m from my bed). He said:”just go ahead”. I was thinking:” I am having an injured leg, how am I supposed to go without any aid?”. Not to offend him (because I already felt his unfriendliness), I said I couldn’t move much as the pain was too much for me. Then he said:”Can what, it’s near only”. Then he waited me at my bedside, looking at me with a much to my surprise’s face. He expected me to get down and go to the toilet. So, much to my unwillingness, I tried. I put my right foot on the ground, my left foot just couldn’t touch the floor at all (it was bandaged, I didn’t know if it was still bleeding but I DAMN knew it was hurting like hell). I just couldn’t put my left foot down, so I tried to move with only my right foot. SHIT, how could I move to the toilet in this situation? The toilet’s distance suddenly went from 5m to the unreachable.
I just didn’t expect a doctor, in the worst case scenario, turned out to be a person like him. I moved like, 50cm from my bed and I just couldn’t do it anymore. He didn’t even bother to lend me a hand, he just stood there and observed as I did the biggest effort in my life to walk a 50cm distance. I gave up, saying that I couldn’t move, and just sat back on my bed. Then he said:”Cannot move ah? How come? You only injured your left foot”. He said it with a tone, the tone that made me just wanted to forget whatever the F*** he said. Later, he said if I could use a urinal, I said it was ok. Then he left. I laid back, still in need to piss off course (need to piss, off course); I started to wonder when my parents or someone who know me would come. After like 10 minutes, a nurse came to give me the urinal. I thought it was great; I finally could piss. Then, when I was standing up, DAMN my left foot hurt like HELL, couldn’t really stand for long (I thought I just really couldn’t stand that long until I finished my business). I held the urinal; DAMN again I wasn’t able to piss in this situation (Foot hurting, standing with one leg, still need to hold the urinal, need to hold my pants some more). Then I was really frustrated: “Hell now I can’t even piss”. Then I tried every configuration possible just to please my injured foot while I could have a piss. But it was my DAMN mind, I thought, to cause me unable to piss. Because some patients piss while lying down (due to their injuries), but I just couldn’t piss even I wanted to in that way. After trying for 20 minutes, I finally came to piss, standing up. The pain was like hell in a hell as I was needed to stand with one leg to do a long business (maybe I drank too much water, or maybe is the weather). After that very much relieving piss, I finally could just lie down and have a rest comfortably.
I saw the sky through the window in front of me; it was moderately bright but cloudy, it was still raining. Then my mom came, with my aunty, I was so relieved to see them...
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